#2

In case you haven't breastfed a baby recently, let me remind you that breastfed babies will often not poop all day, only to make up for it by pooping multiple times in just a few hours. Of course, we're smart people, so we always remember such pertinent information. Right.

So Jack hadn't pooped all day today until about 7pm. Matt dutifully takes the blessed child to his favorite place: the changing table. As soon as daddy takes off the diaper, the second #2 soils the changing table and all available clothes.

Undaunted (sort of), Matt begins cleaning it up while calling in reinforcements. Sarah Beth rushes in for triage, removes some soiled items and starts the bath (for Jack, of course). Mercifully, Jack has decided in recent weeks that he likes his bath. Thus, after SB drew the water, we insert the baby into the bathwater to cleanse him. All is well, so Matt leaves the bathroom to attend to other necessities.

In a couple minutes, Matt (now in another room) hears SB cry, "He's peeing!" To which Matt kindly responds, "Eh, don't worry about it." Moments later, SB cries, "Mayday! Mayday!" Being long in suffering and tender in love, Matt moderately hurries to the bathroom and SB proclaims: "He pooped!"

Now, I'm not sure you've ever seen #2 in bathwater, but trust that it is not terribly appetizing. SB then informed Matt that we must clean the bath, then re-bathe the baby. At this point, she is wringing out the now-soiled washcloths and throwing them into the (adult) bathtub. She gets a towel and takes the child, and Matt cleans out the (baby) bathtub. Of course, the sponge on which the child sits proved challenging, but no match for daddy.

At last the bath is redrawn, and SB sets the child in the bathwater. Immediately Jack pees, and SB replies, "Eh, don't worry about it." Bath completed, we have a clean child, bath, and parents. Wait, the parents are somewhat harried and beleaguered. Good thing we were just about to do the child's laundry...